Wandering.

This past month has been spent wandering.  From state to state.  From friend to friend.

Its got me to thinking about friendships.  About people.  Relationships.  Mostly, its got me feeling thankful.  Its got me saying, "you lucky girl you."

A care ride with Kristin.  California, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Nevada we traveled. Smiles on our lips, hellos with our hands, beauty in our eyes, adventure on our minds and sweet Conor in our ears.  Kristin speaks to me of literature, of nature and of life.  She inspires me to take the time, to make the time, to read, to write - to process the experience I am walking through.  Independent.  Intentional.  Intelligent.  Secretly sentimental.  A good friend.  A close friend.

A weekend in Sacramento.  A tradition of girls' weekends.  A face is missing.  Laughter, late nights, shopping, the lake, chewy's, fondue, tears and conversation.  Hours of conversation. Endless conversation.  Nicki, Krichele and Krysta.  These girls, these women, are pure refreshment.  I am spoiled in refreshment.  Their mere presence speaks to me of wisdom, self-confidence and peace.  Their lives speak to me of the qualities that matter.  Of integrity.  Of respect.  And of love.  They inspire me to search what I believe, seek.  They remind me of the value found in the journey itself.  I admire the conscious way they travel through this world. Deliberate in their actions.  Aware of the risks taken.  And confident in the path laid.

Down to San Jose.  An imposed nights stay, gracefully received by dear friends.  Dinner, a musical, a husband on the couch.  Shane is a champion.  I steal his wife.  Jacqui and I spend the night giggling.  In those wee morning hours we travel back to the easy light-hearted days of yee and jack.  Jobs, school, fears and future are forgotten.  Innocence and silliness take their place. She called today.  My Jack.  Tears in her eyes.  She speaks to me of beauty and pain.  Of honesty and depth.  She inspires me to bravery.  To embracing potential.  To not be afraid.  To leap.  I recognize in her my childhood friend.  A friend who knows me completely, who sees all of me, and yet loves me still.

A visit from Canada.  Four friends.  A weeks stay.  Lazy days filled with Board games and Beaches.  Silliness and S'mores.  Hikes and Hugs.  Lounging and Laughter.  Walks and Waves. Handstands and Happiness.  They are counselor, brother, mentor, sister and friend.  Jeremy and Christina speak to me of theology.  Accountability.  Acceptance.  Of faith.  They inspire me to ask questions, and dig for my own answers.  Not to expect, or accept, the predictable.  They inspire me to trace my steps back to the basics.  To trust this journey I am on.  To stretch myself.  To trust myself.  These two shaped a significant part of my life.  They shaped a significant part of me.

A phone call from a friend.  She guesses what I'm going to say before the words are formed.  She laughs hysterically.  She shreaks.  She makes my belly hurt with laughter.  My cheeks sore with smiles.  Lauren speaks to me of goofiness and freedom.  Of curiosity and genuineness. She inspires me to abandon all pretense.  To forget the elements of image.  To embrace my inner kid.  To laugh freely.  Easily.  Loudly.

My inbox shows an email from an old friend.  Her words are full of hurt, misunderstanding and confusion.  In 10 years of friendship, this is our first "squabble."  I press reply.  I write honestly, describing my own hurt, misunderstanding and confusion.  Another email.  A phone call.  We explain our feelings.  We clear things up.  Wipe the slate clean.  I tell her I love her.  Laura tells me we are best friends.  We agree we need each other.  We laugh at our sentimental words.  At our lovers quarrel.  Laura speaks to me of kindness.  Of a quiet still strength.  She inspires me to humility.  To gentleness.  To selflessness.  So much of our lives have been lived side by side. This is a new chapter.  It looks different.  It is harder.  But Laura, I will always be by your side. 

These people I have collected, I have plucked and gathered, I now store them closely in my treasure-chest heart.  Each unique.  Each comes bearing gifts.  I take what they offer me.  I glean all that I can.  I am greedy and grateful.  These friends reach deep.  Digging, exploring through my insides, they each pull out something different.  Withdrawing a new side, revealing a different aspect of this self.  

This month friends have spoken and inspired.  Its got me to thinking about friendships. About people.  Relationships.  Mostly, its got me feeling thankful.  Its got me saying, "you lucky girl you."